- Love Club
What should i do? move on or try to get him.. :(
June 30, 2011 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
Everything was goin great.. me and this guy were talkin for like a month..he took me out on dates like to eat or movies or games.. it was awesome :) i really thought he was goin to ask me out sooner or later.. then... out of nowhere he told me i lied to him.. he said a girl told him that i wasnt a virgin.. :( he believed her. Im still one. I told him since the beginnin.. he didnt believe in me and he even told me to my face :/ it hurt me soo much that i decided not to talk to him again. i know what i am and it jus hurts my heart that he didnt believe me. We were really happy talkin but that girl ruined it. he didnt wanna tell me who told him cause he didnt want drama wit me and her. i told him i wasnt gona beg him. its been 3 weeks i havent talkd to him...and i miss him :( i havent textd him or called him. what should i do?
just leave all that stuff like that or talk to him at least to say hi.. please help.
No wonder you're sad! You have a girl who's a snake in the grass, biting you behind your back. Then you have this guy who believes her and not you.
The way he insulted you is very alarming. I have to wonder why you would want to be with someone who treats you this way.
If I had to guess, I'd say that you have been falsely accused in your first family. If that's so, then you'll be drawn to a man who will repeat this familiar pattern. The entire purpose of the repetition is for you to finally prove your innocence. If you can manage this, you will feel vindicated, like your parents finally believe you.
So why isn't this working?
Such repetitions fail because we choose partners who are similar to our parents. In your case, I think you may have chosen someone who has a need to accuse and be right at all costs. This means, you will always fail to prevail in convincing him that you're being truthful. The reason you want to say hi is because you are still hoping to turn him around.
Please resist the urge to reach out to him. You will never change this person's mind. He has an agenda to accuse and be right. He will only do you harm.
Re-approaching and trying again with him is a very dangerous proposition. Why? Because each time you "fail" you are actually being re-injured. This means that instead of healing your original wound grows deeper.
Keep away from him. I believe you. I know you're a person of honor. Find other people who treat you with honor and respect rather than place you on the firing line.
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