I'm Trying to Move on But it Hurts. What Now??
May 15, 2012 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
Hi doctor!!! I got out of a relationship about 2 months ago and I was so shure he is mr Right but it was a long distance relationship and yeah he has a new girl now and he told me a week or so ago he still loves me and don't know if there will ever be a chance for us again...but see I'm in another relationship too at the moment and it has no heart of real feelings the more I try to make it work it doesn't work...I love my ex so much I can't let go please help I'm feeling lost and wanting him back he still has my heart please I beg you!!!!
First you have to unzip your lip and tell your ex exactly what you told me: that you want your ex back! That you can't move on because he has your heart and that you can’t love another. Since he also loves you, you have an advantage. Your feelings are mutual! Certainly his feelings for his new girlfriend cannot have developed into love so quickly.
BUT, and this is a very big but. You both broke up. So I have to wonder if you both love each other so much why you ever broke up? You need to take a hard look at this question and come up with a real answer. My book Make Up Don’t Break Up actually walks you through the process of understanding what went wrong. You need to know this so that you can fix the problem. Otherwise, you’ll only get back together and break up again. And, as I often say, relationships are like rubber bands. They can only be stretched so far before they snap. The point is, a relationship can’t survive ongoing conflict and repeated break-ups. So figure out why you broke up and when you speak to him be ready to talk about your understanding of the problems and what you’re prepared to do to resolve it.
If the only issue is the fact that you’re both trapped in a long distance relationship, and that’s what put the strain on your relationship, then you’re going to need to resolve the geographic glitch.
First and foremost, share your heart with him. Love is a precious gift that you don’t want to throw away.
Please let me know how this works out for you.
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