I'm Confused and I Don't Know What to Do

I hope and pray that my testimony will be put into consideration and get the opportunity to be answered. Coz right now I've lost the lamps of my   judgement! I've had a boyfriend who's 1 year older than me....its been a distance relationship of which somehow I've managed to survive for like two   years, I dealt with a guy that would seem and admit to love you but hardly show it. He could hardly txt me or call me claiming to be busy and naturally   hard on communication, We agreed not to have sex till marriage but unfortunately I found condoms on his bag of which he claimed to have been there before we started having a relationship, I ddnt believe him  so I had to stalk information from his close friends of whom they culdnt give me a direct   proof of his deed but advising me that breaking up with him earlier is the best thing I could do coz I'm too good for him and for other reasons that   they couldn't directly tell me as he is a hard guy to deal with. For all these   reasons I thought breaking up with him is the best solution no matter how   much I love him bcoz the only time that I've been happy is when I'm close to him.....I broke up with him and went through a terrible phase 1st deep inside myself I admit to love him still, 2nd comments from friends and family to take him back if I still love him and others to tell me that breakn was wise enough. I also have a thing for looks that I find him not my type so may be I   could wait for the guy I'd want of wich I'm nt sure if I'll get but tht doesn't change the fact of the feelings I have for him, this sounds abit awkward bt ts wats going inside me so I thot I should mention it too.....that's a short history of what happened until I broke up with him for the past nine months,ol this break up time has been hell to me,no day has passed without me thinking of him no matter how hard I try, the more I pray to God to give me the right man hoping maybe by that I'll manage to forget about him is the more I keep on thinking about him, few days ago I found out that he dated another distant relative of mine but broke up bcoz. Of a distant relationship. Hearing this made me furious feeling like my heart has been   broken down the 2nd time by the same person,I cnt understand myself but it   appears that I cnt let go of this man, its a lot of pressure that I cnt seem to be focused at all. You can be confused of what I've but that's precisely what I am right now, CONFUSED....I hope to hear from you and get the right direction of my life!

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