- Dr. Love in the Media
Curious about Someone at Work
August 6, 2012 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
Hi, I met this girl at work just recently. I wasnt really looking but when I met her I introduced myself to her. We talked but within a week or so we exchanged numbers. So we talked for a couple of weeks then the question came when she asked if I liked her so I said yes and Im not looking to rush into anything but was interested in getting to know her. So she wanted to see what my intentions were. She said she was not trying to rush me to anything but she said shes not in a relationship at the moment and probably wont be in one for a while. But we still talk by text. I didnt really call her but once I did and she was wondering why she didnt hear from me for a couple of days. She has a child and is generally busy with work and her son, so she doesnt answer texts right away, and I dont wanna keep texting her since that can be annoying even though she says it doesnt bother her, shes just generally busy alot. So I asked her whats a good time to call her on Sunday and she gave me a time. Sometimes I see her in the coffee room but dont want to make it look like I breath down her neck by going in there every morning at the same exact time that shes there, sometimes when theres other staff she generally keeps conversing with staff and says hi to me. But usually if its just she and I we talk forever. I dont wanna annoy her or scare her away so Im not sure if she finds me attractive or what the situation is. I asked her if she wanted to get together this week as friends and hang out someplace public so she said I have to contact her during the week of to see what her schedule is. Just need advice.
This girl likes you. That’s why she asked you if you like her! She’s got the same “condition” you have. She said that she, too, didn’t want to rush you into anything!
Now here’s a valuable little tidbit about the unconscious mind. The unconscious never speaks in negative phrases. For example, when someone says, “No offense, but…” That means, brace yourself Brigette. Likewise, when she says, “I don’t want to rush you,” she means, “I want to rush you.’
At the same time, her words have made it clear that she wants to hear from you, which is why she asked you why she hadn’t heard from you in a couple of days.
Then, on the other hand, she doesn’t answer your texts right away. I’m thinking that maybe you aren’t sure that she truly is interested in you.
Behind your fear of crowding her is, I think, a fear on being rejected by her.
She’s given you enough what I call Green Lights to convince me that she’s not going to reject you. If you want to be absolutely certain, by all means use my Is She Interested in Me? Test (free with my newsletter sign up). The test will evaluate all the signals she’s sending so you can know for sure that she’s sending you lots of cues that she wants you to come closer.
Once you are confirmed in the fact that she’s into you, then just go for it. Don’t worry about crowding her. It’s your job to pursue her. She’s waiting for you do it. That’s why she asked you why you didn’t call her.
Another thing, I would not try to text her so much. She doesn’t respond well to texts. Besides, texting is not emotionally intimate. She gave you the clue as to how she wants you to reach out to her. She said, “Why didn’t you call me?”
So call her. Talk to her, get to know her, and for God sakes, ask her out on a date. If you don’t, I will!!!!
Let me know how well you make out!
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