I've read many of your responses and admire your candor.
I'm currently dating someone who appears to be a very loving, sweet, loyal and grounded man. I've met his parents and many (20+) of his friends. . . Whom all share the same opinion: He is a great guy! His most recent relationship (3+years) ended about 2 years ago. He was devastated by the breakup and has expressed his feelings well. And appears to have learned a lot about himself from the relationship. They remain close and have both dated others casually since.
I am the first person that is considered to be a 'serious' relationship since the break-up. They remain involved in a community project and went to a meeting together the other night. We made plans to meet after the meeting, which was to end around 9:30ish.
At 11:00 he called me and said sorry for the delay that 'she' was upset and needed to talk. . . Talk about the fact that he has met someone special and her ill mother etc.
Needless to say, I was upset. I felt he should have called me prior to the 'talk' and let me know that he would be late. . . or let her know that he already had plans etc. I apreciate the fact that he was honest and straight forward about it. . . however, I felt he was more concerned about her feelings rather than mine.
His reasoning for not calling me was that he felt it was not appropriate to interupt her, while being emotional, to call me. I feel he was enabling her. I expressed to him that I have no interest in coming into someone's life if there are still open doors. I asked a lot of questions up front and was very surprised by this incident. (I was under the impression that there were long past these types of feelings)
After talking, he felt that this was an unusual situation and it wouldn't happen again, or he wouldn't allow it to happen again. . . He also asked 'her ' to meet me and she said she wasn't ready to meet me yet. In my opinion, that is a sign that they are not over each other yet. She has healing to do-on her own, and he is allowing her to hold on to him by enabling her.
Lastly, I was hurt (badly) in my last relationship and want to make sure I'm not over reacting or being too sensitive. Please give me your expert opinion! :)))