Dr Love, heres my problem . Prior to my marrige my husband had an on again off again relationship with his ex girlfriend. Theyre initial break up was her request and a mutual'lets sleep together on and off because we are familiar to each other 'relationship formed between them. (they had 2 children in the commited portion of their relationship and one during the casual part)
My husband has never denied his responsibilites as a father and continued to stay close to his children. Then we met and a month later we were married. It was so quick and took us and everyone else by suprise and im happy to say that its been 3 years of marital bliss. With only one thing that keeps rearing its ugly head. His ex.
Our marrige was a shock to her and I understand this. But its been three years and when my husband visits his children she makes comments that reflect that she still caries a torch for my husband.
During our short engagement, my husband spent many hours on the phone and in person reasuring her that he had every intention of being a true father to his children, that it was over along time ago and reminding her that she was the one that called it quits to the commitment and she was the one that suggested that they see other people after ward, keeping things casual.
Now she has placed herself on the cross so to speak, mentioning to who ever she can how hard done by she is. Further, she has taken it upon herself to bad mouth me (whom she has not met. ) to the children in affect ruining any chance I might have had in forming a posotive relationship with them. She has also taken my husband to court in an effort to raise child support monies to ridiculous amounts.
Where do I sit in all this? No mans land. My husband does not want me involved . His conscern is that I will get hurt in the cross fire. I am finding it difficult to sit on the side lines and watch him hurt by this woman.
As of late she has proven herself irrational. My husband phoned home from her house (inquiring if he needed to stop by the store on his way home)and ended the call to me with a kiss and an I love you. She started shouting names at my husband, shouting how she never got any affection like that and carried it out on to the street as he tried to leave.
I am at a loss, and would appreciate any suggestions on how to deal with this.