- Dr. Love in the Media
Wondering What My Dream Means
October 16, 2000 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
I keep having the same dream over and over again. My ex-boyfriend and I are standing somewhere and he says I love you. I love him but when we broke up he said he didnt love me.
what does this dream mean?
One function of dreams is wish fulfillment. For example, if I am furious at my boss, it would be natural for my unconscious mind to dream about my boss being hit by a car. Such a dream would serve to fulfill my deepest wish, that my boss gets slammed. What wish is your dream trying to fulfill? When your boyfriend broke up with you, he didn't say that he loved you.
Meanwhile, you keep on loving him. Your dream merely tells you that you wish he would love you back. The fact that you keep holding on to (and dreaming about) the ghost of your ex. is cause for concern. You aren't living your life in the present. Instead you are holding on to the past, your love for him, and still dreaming that he'll return your affection.
You might want to examine why you are hanging on to someone who doesn't want to be with you. If you've been reading my column for a while, then you know that whenever a person can't let go of an issue, a relationship, or a feeling, that means that childhood baggage is afoot. You need to find out how holding on to someone who doesn't love you relates to your history. Who didn't return your love when you were young? Mom? Dad? Next, understand that your mind wants to heal this old wound.
By choosing someone who can't return your affection (or by holding on to him) your unconscious mind is telling you that it hopes that some way, some how you will prevail and finally be loved back. Realizing this pattern is the first step to healing the problem and moving forward.
Thanks for the question.
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