Woman Who Won't Let Go of Her Ex

I have not found a similar problem in your archives and hope that you are willing to help me with this problem.

Three years ago my husband left me for another woman who is much younger than he is (43/23). After I found out about the affair he moved out. I tried to talk to him and save our marriage, but he was so consumed with her, he had no time for me or our marriage.

He was very cruel to me emotionally, when I would call him and tell him to please give our marriage a change, he would say hurtful things to me. She would also call me and leave me messages, such as 'You lost the battle and he's mine now'

We've been divorced 3 years now and I still love him as much as I did on our wedding day. I wonder if he thinks of me. . . and I just wish and pray he'd come back. I know that won't happen because they are living together now. Everyone kept telling me they would never last with that age difference. . . or that she would eventually leave him for someone her own age, but that has not happened. I have such a hard time accepting that he is gone and loving someone else - he was my soul mate.

Now I have met a nice guy, after dating many jerks and he cares very much for me. The problem is I can't help but compare him to my ex-husband. I want this new guy to make me feel like my husband did. And I know that is not fair. I just can't seem to open my heart to soemone new. I don't want to blow a potential good relationship, because I know there are plenty of idiots out there and a gem is hard to find.

What's wrong with me?? why can't I let go of my ex-husband? I think about him every day, occassionally I call their house just to hear his voice on the answeting machine. . I want our life/marriage back. I know that won't happen, he has moved on, why can't I?? I still feel so connected to him. And this new guy is catching on to my unwillingness to let go. Much of what my new man does irritates me becuase its not the way my husband used to do things.

What can I do to heal? What is wrong with me?

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