Dear Dr. Love, I'm a college sophomore, 19 years and have been with my current boyfriend for almost a year. Things have been fine up until about a month ago. Up until this point, I had never dated anyone, never kissed, never had strong feelings of affection or love for anyone.
So 'Tom' is my first everything (including sex a couple months ago). Tom, however, had a 2-year romance (a sexual one as well) with a girl in high school. I cannot get over this. You'd think after a year, I would realize that this boy loves me so much. I know he does, and I know he cares nothing for his high school ex (who he broke up with as soon as he got to college) but somehow I just can't stop thinking about her.
I think of what they went through, where they went on their dates, what they said to each other, how they felt about each other, their first sexual talks/experiences. It doesn't help that I don't know what its like to have an ex.
Also, I am very self-critical and hard on myself sometimes, and it has never been so much of a problem than when I started having a boyfriend. I can't accept that I'm 'pretty' and 'wonderful.' Most of the time I do accept it, but sometimes it's very hard for me, cause I see myself in totally different view.
I do see a pyschologist every couple months when I need too, due to other stuff, but I can't seem to shake these two conflicts! I have told him about this and he knows how I feel. . . He also hates his past, hates the fact that he wasted his life and virginity with the high school ex, but if you could tell me a way to deal with both these issues, i would appreciate so much. Thank you.