Wife Whose Husband Cheated More than Once

My husband has been cheating on me, quite frequently. I am 47 and he is 48. We have been together since we were 16 married at 18.

In the early years I contracted two STD's and I was faithful He denied it so emphatically that I was convinced the doctors were wrong. Regardless of the fact that we took treatment. Young and Stupid I guess you can say. I did not want to believe it.

Now here recently I have found definite proof that he has had an affair. I found the other womans invoices and store receipts in his car after receiving a call from a creditor asking for him and her.

Again he denies this to my face and gives every kind of ridiculous excuse imaginable. after much ranting and raving I decided to forgive him after weighing our difficulites. But it just infuriates me that he wont admit it. I feels like unfinnished business, even though he is now home all the time after work and has appeared to have cleaned up his act. I just can't get pass his not admitting it and asking for forgiveness.

He just says I am crazy and need to drop it. I can forgive him and want to and did. Things were peacful for a while but it just nags at me that he wants me to put my head in the sand and pretend it did not happen.

He is a good provider, but he does not feed my spirit. Oh yeah by the way the STD's rendered me infertile. I did not know they were the cause untill later after reading about such things.

I am a Christian and forgiveness is part of my faith, but he tests that faith by Not giving me the satisfaction of opening up for real healing. What should I do?

Thank You in Advance for your well thought out advice.

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