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Is There a Way to Say I Love You without Gifts?
July 23, 2007 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
How do you tell someone you love them without gifts.
The best way to tell someone you love him or her is to use your words. After all, our main mode of communication is words. Use your words to tell your beloved what you adore about him or her.
Show interest in him/her and be a good listener, especially when he/she is angry with you! On the nonverbal front, show your love by being attentive and responsive to his/her needs.
Praise the way he/she is responsive and attentive to you. Make your beloved feel like the most important person in the world. See to it that his/her needs and feelings your top priority.
Keep in mind that it's easiest to love when you feel loving. The real challenge is to behave lovingly even when you're angry. This is a human being's highest spiritual challenge. When you're angry, communicate your feelings in a constructive way.
Say your thoughts and feelings and describe why you have them. No ranting, raving, screaming, yelling or name calling. Likewise, when your beloved is angry with you listen, reflect back what you hear so your beloved knows that you understand how he/she feels and why.
If you do all this, your beloved will know that you love him/her. . . . and your love with last for eternity.
"If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage, Dr. Turndorf’s conflict resolution program is for you."
-- John Gray,
Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships."
-- Dr. John Mack
Pulitzer Prize winning author and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
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-- John Bradshaw,
Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Homecoming
"Dr. Turndorf is an amazing individual who has wonderful advice to offer men and women of all ages and in all types of relationships. Ignore her counsel at your peril!"
-- Bill Hammond III,
Winner of the Best Historical Fiction Award, 2012
"You are awesome Dr. Jamie. You really are. The best part about you is the way you translate complex psychological stuff into easy to understand and actionable insights."
-- Kajay Williams,
Producer Relationship Advice Cafe
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-- Michael Dresser,
Syndicated Radio Host
"Good stuff. Great insight. I love your approach. Who doesn't need more healing. I love your idea of using your partner as a healing agent. That's such a great way to see your partner. You give great labels and patterns to look for. I love your method. You make it sound so easy. You have a great website with lots of great information and resources. These are the tools we all need."
-- Dr. Matt Townsend,
Host, The Matt Townsend Show