I really need help in my current situation, which is keeping me out of order. I can't work sleep or even eat. I'm totally lost. Please be so kind and read my story and tell me what to do. I will try to cut it short as possible not to waste your time. If any details you think are essential for your judgment please ask me again.
I'm a newly graduated doctor. I belong to a strict religious family. And I'm a strict religious person. I'm 26 years now. I always believed in one true love and I was very careful not to let my feelings go unless I believed that the relationship would end with marriage and a happy family.
My story started a year ago. I met a girl. It was great how we seemed to be so much in love after a very short time. It was the first love in my life ever. She's staying in the same country I'm in because she used to stay with her family that used to work somewhere else. She came for a summer training. Things moved so fast. We decided that we are for each other for life.
She told me that she had an ex-boyfriend in the country where she used to stay with her family. After her training ended, she went back. We stayed in touch through the net, calls, love emails at least once a day and a chat twice a week. Everything seemed to be perfect. We were planning marriage for sure and very soon.
Sometimes we used to have fights or arguments over religious issues because we belong to different religious backgrounds. But we worked it out from time to time and reached a mutual formula.
Sometimes after she left I started to ask her about that ex-boyfriend she told me she broke up BEFORE she met me. She went mad and that caused us a very tough time. She said that I'm crazy to think that she still sees him. And she really gave me a very hard time for that mistake I made for mentioning that. She said maybe she met him by chance or just talked as an old friend but that was ALL. I trusted that.
We were apart for one year and then she came back again. Things started to go better for her as I noticed she is more religious now, and she suits me as a wife now more than ever. Even from the human side she is more understanding of my type of work and my career ambitions. Very sacrificing even for this marriage to succeed, so many conditions she used to insist on in the past she just erased and has forgotten now!
I found out some things recently. So I faced her with what I know. And after, she collapsed and said that it was all true. That she used to talk to him all that year long, some chats, calls, visits. Even love talk and moreover some romantic and intimate moments! I was shocked. I asked was that when we had fights, she said yes, but in between too they were talking too and meeting and going out as well. And maybe it happened too when we were good together!
So I was calling her in the daytime to make sure she was fine telling her that I loved her and in the evening she was saying the same thing to someone else! With my ring in her finger!! This drives me crazy now. Now she says that she is so sorry and feels so low and doesn't want to talk about it because she wants to forget that ugly past. And maybe I should consider leaving her and looking for someone else although she still loves me and really hates that person and what happened.
I still love her. I don't know what to do or what to decide. Is it over for us?!! And if it is, how is it possible for me to get over her? I really need your help. And I will appreciate this really a lot. I feel so lost. Please.
You are the only help I can get. Here where I work now in an African country there are no psychiatrists that I can trust. I won't get out of here soon because I cannot abort my mission as it will damage my career and I'm really falling down. Waiting for your reply soon.