- Dr. Love's Appearances
- Love Library
July 13, 1998 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
I met a man I really care for two months ago. And, two weeks ago I had sexual intercourse with him for the first time. Keep in mind I had been abstinent for over a year prior to this. My question - after having sexual intercourse with a man are females known to cry? I ask this because after intercouse I lied in bed crying for about a good half-hour ( he was not aware). This has only happened once, but does it mean there are other emotional problems connected to my sexual experience? Possibly something from the past?
Great question. Hundreds of thousands of women ask this question of each year.
It is not uncommon for women to have strong reactions after intercourse. Some women laugh hysterically, some cry. It is all within the range of normal. Since you asked whether or not the crying is related to your past, your unconscious may be offering you a clue--sending up a flair that it wants you to heed.
I will say that crying after an unusually positive experience often indicates that a deep childhood need or wish has just been fulfilled. Hence, the tears are actually tears of great relief. It is also known that, to the unconscious mind, sex has deep meaning that extends far beyond the physical act. In fact, for many people sex symbolizes love.
So, it is conceivable that, for you, the recent sexual encounter made you experience a sense of deep love or belonging, the likes of which you yearned for as a child but never quite achieved.
In any case. Enjoy and keep crying for joy.
"If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage, Dr. Turndorf’s conflict resolution program is for you."
-- John Gray,
Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships."
-- Dr. John Mack
Pulitzer Prize winning author and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
“This book provides a down-to-earth, easy to apply, proven method for creating relationship harmony. This book should be mandatory reading for every couple that wants to head-off or resolve the inevitable relationship conflicts and build lasting love. Buy this book and put it to use!”
-- John Bradshaw,
Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Homecoming
"Dr. Turndorf is an amazing individual who has wonderful advice to offer men and women of all ages and in all types of relationships. Ignore her counsel at your peril!"
-- Bill Hammond III,
Winner of the Best Historical Fiction Award, 2012
"You are awesome Dr. Jamie. You really are. The best part about you is the way you translate complex psychological stuff into easy to understand and actionable insights."
-- Kajay Williams,
Producer Relationship Advice Cafe
"Let me tell you why you're extremely important now. I really believe your message is there. You're spot on. More and more people should be taking advantage of what you're offering."
-- Michael Dresser,
Syndicated Radio Host
"Good stuff. Great insight. I love your approach. Who doesn't need more healing. I love your idea of using your partner as a healing agent. That's such a great way to see your partner. You give great labels and patterns to look for. I love your method. You make it sound so easy. You have a great website with lots of great information and resources. These are the tools we all need."
-- Dr. Matt Townsend,
Host, The Matt Townsend Show