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Sad but True
January 19, 1998 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
I was engaged to my girlfriend of two years. People might have thought she was more'attached' than I was possibly. Not the case however. She ended up leaving me. We have been away from each other for at least 4-5 months. Since then I met a very nice girl which I have been dating for about 1 1/2 months.
I am now finding that I miss my ex dearly, so I broke it off with my current. My ex lives down the street, yet we haven't even seen each other out. Things ended harshly. We have only a few friends in common, I haven't said a word about how I still remorse. I need minor advice on how to open the lines of communication, just as friends, to make myself feel better. How would I go about opening communication?
Sad but true
The best way to open lines of communication is to open them. You know where she lives. You know her address. You know her phone number. Choose the mode of communication that suits you best and start talking. Tell her exactly what you told me. That you regret having broken up. That you miss her dearly. That you broke off with the woman you were dating because you can't see yourself with anyone but her. If this sounds too mushy and you prefer to reestablish a friendship, then, tell her that you miss her friendship and want to be in touch with her again. You could also tell her that you aren't happy with the way your relationship ended and with the things that were said to each other. Tell her that you are sure that she has feelings leftover that she never told you. Maybe she is hurt or angry by some of the things you said or did. And, tell her that you are open to hearing all about how she feels about how you behaved during the break-up or, for that matter, how you behaved during the relationship.
Good luck. She is one lucky woman to be loved by you. Your willingness to talk with her and listen to her feelings is the greatest gift for a woman. Let me know what happens.
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