I am a 56 year old male and a problem that while not causing me a lack of sleep, does cause me concern as to why I feel as I do about a certain subject....and that is that as far back as I can remember (certainly back as far as my earliest elementary school years, I have always been adverse, or turned off by 'overweight' females....and by 'overweight', I am not referring only to those ladies that are 'morbidly obese'(which can sometimes bother me so much I can actually become nauseated....but in general to any woman that might be described as 'pudgey', stout, full-sized, etc.
When I meet or interact with any such persons, regardless of any other attractivity, i.e., pretty face, pleasant personality, people skills, intelligence, cleanliness, neatness, or most any other positive attribute, any thought of personal social and/or romantic interaction is 'dead on sight' and never improves regardless of any continuing interaction(s) with the person involved. I can maintain a professional relationship.
My feelings regarding this bother me because I certainly don't consider such feelings healthy or normal. And at the same time, I know I am shorting myself of social/personal growth opportunities that are otherwise enjoyed by a large segment of the population.
However, no matter how I rationalize a situation, I cannot seem to overcome by biases regarding ' overweightness' in women. I have even forced myself to accept situations such as social outings and or 'dates' with women that would normally be regarded as only 'stout' or 'pudgey'...only to have each such interaction end disasterously, i.e., a total lack of any enjoyment and what could be described as an 'unenjoyable evening' for the both of us. Sexual involvement between myself and an overweight woman is a total distaster. Absolutely'nothing happens' of any arousal nature....regardless of how physically or passive the involved woman is. In brief, should her flesh meet mine, I feel nothing except desire to be elsewhere.
Well, I've said a lot, but don't know if I have accomplished anything. I have also undertaken counseling for this same societal bias...but that has ended for the most part with the counselor saying,'Well, if you're getting along well in other aspects, don't worry about it! Yet, I still wish I could somehow be more widely acceptive of those persons that are less fortunate regarding weight to heights proportionate aspects of their bodies. I've tried to reflect upon anything in my past that might have caused me to feel as I do, and for the life of me, I cannot seize on any single thing. I cannot ever recall being abused as a child or for that matter, ever having been mistreated or abused by a woman of larger size. In summary however, although I can socially interact, and to a degree, socially accept (but never really respect)an overweight woman, beyond that, any other thoughts are wasted energy. Your thoughts on this dilemna would be appreciated.