My husband and I have been married for 22 years. Raised two children 33 & 29 from my first marriage (no children between us). My problem and question is this:

He cheated on me the first year that we where married, but I did not find this out until 14 years later. He promised me that he would never betray or hurt me like this again. Well, in 2005 he started a phone romance with a radio personallty locally to where we live. I accidentally found out this and was devastated and hurt beyond all reason.

He has started to drink very heavily (2 plus cases of beer a week) and has stated that it is my fault that he drinks because I have not forgiven him nor have I forgotten what happened last summer. God knows I have tried but feel he's drinking in this manner because he did not get to have his way with this other woman. He still flirts with every pretty woman he sees and makes me feel like yesterday's leftovers. He made this remark just recently during one of our arguments while he was drinking so heavy.

He has begun to be verbally violent and physically with me when he is in this state of mind. He says that I provoke him by fussing about the amount of alcohol consumed. Please help me with an answer as to how I can save my marriage. I still love him with all my heart.

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