He's Friendly with His Ex-Girlfriends

Dear Dr Love I hope you can help.

I've been seeing a man for a little over a year. We are very much in love and both agree nothing like this has ever happened to us before. We are both in our 30s and have bought a house together and plan to get married. He has two previous long term relationships (8 years and 5 years) and is on friendly terms with both women. I have one previous relationship which I ended and we have no contact.

I am having problems accepting his two ex partners. He wants us to socialise together occasionally (they have mutual friends) and keep in contact with both women. He also has lots of photos of him and these women. He is a very kind man and I think his ex girlfriends play on this.

I know they both would like to get back together with him although he repeatedly tells me that he does not want this. I do not want to socialise with them as I think they are manipulative and I find it painful (I have been out to dinner with him and one of them and I did not have an enjoyable evening). I want to get on with planning our future together without constant reminders of the past.

I have also recently found out that one of his ex partners owes him £10, 000. I confronted him over this and he said that he felt gulity when he left her and lent her the money to help her buy a house. Please help. Am I being jealous and unreasonable? Why can he not break ties with these women?

I now have problems sleeping with him as I keep imagine him with his ex- girlfriends and I won't go in the room where he keeps the photos of them. I love him very much.

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