- Dr. Love in the Media
Is He Cheating?
June 19, 2007 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
My boyfriend and I are extremely happy. I've never been so happy and he sincerely seems to feel just the same.
So, I was shaken to the core when I recently found out that he has been checking out pics of local girls on 'myspace'. He's with me all the time, I know he isn't out actually meeting other people. And he swears that he is truly not searching for someone new. Can this be chalked up to and dealt with as male curiosity. Or is it more likely a warning sign?
I'm really sick about this! Please help as soon as you can, I very much look forward to reading your response!!!
It is true that men are not monogamous by nature. As I explain in my book, in order to insure the continuance of the species, men are biologically programmed to impregnate as many females as possible! A quick look at male biology and you'll see the proof of what I said above.
For one thing, men have endless supplies of sperm and can be fertile till the end of their lives. Once a woman is impregnated she's out of commission and can't conceive or bear another child for another year! Meanwhile, look at how many babies a man can create during this period.
So you must face the fact that we are dealing with a biological imperative that can't be changed. While a man isn't wired for monogamy, when he loves a woman he will move heaven and earth to stay faithful to her. Looking at pictures allows him to satisfying his need for variety while still remaining faithful to you!
It sure sounds like your guy is devoted to you and faithful. I wouldn't worry about him.
"If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage, Dr. Turndorf’s conflict resolution program is for you."
-- John Gray,
Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships."
-- Dr. John Mack
Pulitzer Prize winning author and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
“This book is mandatory reading for every couple that wants to build lasting love.”
-- John Bradshaw,
Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Homecoming
"Dr. Turndorf is an amazing individual who has wonderful advice to offer men and women of all ages and in all types of relationships. Ignore her counsel at your peril!"
-- Bill Hammond III,
Winner of the Best Historical Fiction Award, 2012
"You are awesome Dr. Jamie. You really are. The best part about you is the way you translate complex psychological stuff into easy to understand and actionable insights."
-- Kajay Williams,
Producer Relationship Advice Cafe
"Let me tell you why you're extremely important now. I really believe your message is there. You're spot on. More and more people should be taking advantage of what you're offering."
-- Michael Dresser,
Syndicated Radio Host
"Good stuff. Great insight. I love your approach. Who doesn't need more healing. I love your idea of using your partner as a healing agent. That's such a great way to see your partner. You give great labels and patterns to look for. I love your method. You make it sound so easy. You have a great website with lots of great information and resources. These are the tools we all need."
-- Dr. Matt Townsend,
Host, The Matt Townsend Show