- Dr. Love in the Media
Fifteen Year Old Who Thinks He's Gay
February 8, 1999 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
Dear Dr. Love,
I am now fifteen years old, and I never considered myself gay until recently.
I was never interested in girls, but I didn't really take a note of that because I have a lot of friends. I think I have been repressing my sexuality. I can talk about girls with my friends even though I am not interested in them.
But I think I am falling in love with my male friend Peter, who is definitely not gay - he already has a girlfriend. I don't know what to do. My friends always critisize gay people and I am afraid that they won't accept me the way I am.
This sounds like a common story, but my friend Peter in particular - I am very close to him, and I don't want him to find out. Although I know he will find out sometime.
Please help me
It is not easy being gay in our society, and even harder to be a gay teen. Teens especially want to fit in and be part of the crowd. And, since the majority of people are not gay, it is difficult to feel like you blend when you are different.
Keep in mind that all humans are bisexual by nature. And, the only reason that taboos (social bans) have been placed on bisexuality or being gay is because the species would not survive (no babies would be born) if everyone expressed his or her bi or gay tendencies.
This being said, your real issue is accepting yourself.
If you feel comfortable with your sexuality, your friends and even your best friend should accept you. So, you must make peace with yourself. If you can't do it on your own, you can certainly talk more with me about it (see my private consulting section for your options).
When you feel comfortable with yourself, then you can decide if you want to 'come out'to your friends. Meanwhile, you don't need to say anything to anyone. You must become comfortable first.
Take it easy. You're fine.
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