- Work with Dr. Turndorf
Dr. Love's Core Therapy Method: Free To Love
Dr. Love's Core Therapy™ Method: Free To Love
Let Dr. Love help you find love, fix a rocky relationship, get your ex back and even reconnect as well as heal a relationship with someone who has passed!
Whether you're single and searching for love, in a rocky relationship, considering separation, single again following a divorce or death of a loved one, or scared to reenter the dating scene following a bad breakup, it's my mission to help you move past your impasse so that you can experience the blessing of loving and being loved to the fullest.
I'm known worldwide as Dr. Love, and through TV, books, radio, advice columns, and my website, I've helped millions of people create joyful relationships.
As Director of the Center for Emotional Communication, I've spent over 30 years researching what makes relationships fail or flourish. I have identified every pothole on the path to love, and I know how to steer you clear of all of them. Now it's your turn to benefit from my vast experience and knowledge. I promise to walk beside you until journey's end.
Research proves that a strong relationship will improve your health and make you live a longer and healthier life.
Not having a strong connection with another person or having a relationship that's full of conflict is deadly. No kidding. Recent research proves that depression, anxiety, and the stress associated with relationship problems releases cortisol and adrenaline as well as other stress related chemicals. These chemicals damage the endothelium in your arteries and lead to atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) and heart disease as well as cause premature death!
Stress chemicals also cause inflammation throughout your body. Recent research proves that inflammation is the underlying cause of every degenerative illness and disease known to humankind, so it's no exaggeration to say that your life depends on having a good love life. Don't kid yourself, no amount of healthy eating, exercise, or supplements can counteract the damage caused by not having strong connections with others, or undo the harm caused by a relationship that's not working.
I'm going to show you how to turn your love life around using my groundbreaking approach, which I call CoreTherapyTM. Instead of Band-Aid therapies, which offer quick fixes and behavioral tricks that cover the wounds that fester inside all of us, I dig deep to uncover the core of your problem, the Old Scars from childhood that actually cause most of our relationship woes.
How Dr. Turndorf’s Core Therapy™ Method Works
Once you uncover and heal your Old Scars, you won't need to write me in six months, a year or ten years from now because the same problem has popped up again.
Old Scars resurface in our adult relationships in two ways: the partners we choose and the conflict we experience with our partners. Because our childhood relationships are the psychological blueprint for our adult relationships, we are naturally drawn to life partners who emotionally resemble our parents. We are creatures of habit. Familiar pain is actually more comfortable than facing the unknown.
What's more, the psyche craves to heal the wounds of childhood by repeating them. Repeating the past helps us to work through our feelings and to hopefully achieve what I call a Happy Ending this time around. The Happy Ending is whatever we yearned for as a child.
We choose partners who resemble our parents because:
1.We are creatures of habit. Familiar pain is actually more comfortable than facing the unknown.
2.The psyche craves to heal the wounds of childhood by repeating them. Repeating the past helps us to work through our feelings and to hopefully achieve what I call a Happy Ending this time around.
For example, if your dad put you down, you will choose a lover who belittles you -- not because you're a glutton for punishment, but because your psyche wants to help you heal. If you manage to get love and appreciation from your partner, your unconscious mind will feel as though you have finally won what you always wanted from your parent.
And no matter how many times you are hurt or disappointed by our partners, we don't stop trying to win our Happy Ending--because the urge to heal our Old Scars is so strong that our unconscious minds never want to give up. This is called the Repetition Compulsion. Unfortunately, the Repetition Compulsion rarely works; instead of winning the love and appreciation we crave, we end up heartbroken all over again, precisely because our partner is as limited as our parent was and therefore incapable of giving us any more or any better than we received as a child.
Below are some quick tests to determine where you are stuck in your relationships. There are examples included as well as explaining the core issue you may be experiencing. Answer each question honestly – this will help you begin the healing process:
Quick Test To Determine if You are Stuck in a Repetition Compulsion
1.You keep choosing partners who you know are wrong for you. YES or NO
2.You find it impossible to let go of a partner who is wrong for you. YES or NO
3.You only feel attracted to partners who mistreat you. YES or NO
4.You find yourself wanting to get back with someone who is wrong for you and/or mistreated you. YES or NO
5.You are filled with sadness at the thought of giving up your partner despite the fact that you are being mistreated or your needs aren't being met. YES or NO
If you answered YES to any of these questions, you are locked in a Repetition Compulsion.
There are other ways that our psychological blueprint damages our love life. Even if we manage not to choose a partner like the parent or parents who caused emotional harm, we will find ourselves unconsciously driven to turn our partner into our parent in order to repeat the trauma we suffered as a child, again with the hope of achieving our Happy Ending.
Quick Test to Determine if Your Unconscious Mind is Trying to Turn Your Partner into Your Parent
1.You find yourself pushing your partner's buttons, but don't know why. YES or NO
2.You find yourself accusing your partner even though you know your accusations aren't justified. YES or NO
3.You feel a sense of dread, as if you're waiting for your partner to harm you. YES or NO
4.You find yourself misinterpreting your partner's words and actions and assuming negative intentions even when they don't actually exist. YES or NO
5.You feel afraid that your relationship will end in disaster. YES or NO
If you answered YES to any of these questions, your unconscious mind is trying to turn your partner into your parent.
For example, let's say your mother abandoned the family when you were young. This experience left you with a fear of being abandoned. In your adult relationships, you will assume that each and every partner is going to walk out on you, when, in fact, your partner has no intention of doing so. In spite of reality, you are clingy, possessive, jealous, suspicious, or always accusing your partner of cheating, and guess what? Your partner gets so furious to be falsely accused that he/she ends up leaving you. Your unconscious succeeded in recreating your childhood, but once again there's no chance for a Happy Ending.
The wounds of childhood (what I call Old Scars) have yet another way of wreaking havoc on your relationships. They add fuel to the fire and cause endless fighting. How? The mind works by association, unconsciously comparing present events with early experiences. This explains why you react with great emotional intensity to minor things that your partner says or does. This is because your mind is making a connection between what's happening now and what happened to you as a child.
For example, one of my patients was out to dinner with her husband. He kept checking his watch in order to be sure to feed the meter at the right time. She went ballistic and started yelling at him, "I can see you can't wait to get out of here and away from me..." Since her dad had no time for her, her unconscious mind linked her husband and her father; suddenly, all her buried hurt and anger came out on her husband, adding fuel to her fire. Of course, when she loses it, her partner becomes furious in response, and thus begins the cycle of endless fighting.
Quick Test to Determine if Old Scars are Fueling Your Relationship Problems
1.I often find myself overreacting to what my partner says or does. YES or NO
2.When my partner upsets me, I can't seem to let go of my hurt feelings. YES or NO
3.I expect my partner to hurt or damage me the way my parents did. YES or NO
4.I'm hypersensitive and often feel attacked or put down by my partner. YES or NO
5.I often interpret what my partner says or does as negative even when in reality it isn't. YES or NO
If you answered YES to any of these questions, old wounds are adding fuel to your fire.
Because Old Scars are the root cause of most relationship conflict, I will show you how to heal your wounds and teach you new and more effective ways of communicating your feelings so that you can grow closer, not farther apart. When you heal your childhood wounds, you not only improve your relationships with others, you also develop a better relationship with yourself. Your self-esteem and self-love blossom when excess psychic baggage is lifted from your shoulders. You are freed to live in the now and enjoy life and love to the fullest.
Dr. Turndorf Can Show You How To:
Rescue yourself from one more day of heartache. Protect your health from the deadly effects of no relationship or a troubled relationship. Create the best, most loving relationship in the world. And since all of us carry old wounds, do yourself a favor and make sure that you have your partner, spouse, friends, and loved ones read this letter and encourage them to take the necessary steps as well.
The best place to start is with my groundbreaking book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love’s 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship Instead of buying it from a major bookseller, you can buy a personally autographed copy of the book here:
Also, use this site to its fullest and browse my weekly free advice columns which go as far back as 1995! You can search by topic or keyword, browse them by year and month, and even browse them by title. All the free advice I have given over the years I offer free on this Web site to benefit of others and help people like you create loving, lasting relationships. As you will see, you are not alone in your relationship and personal struggles. If you are willing to devote your time to the work, you can break free from your harmful patterns and have the love in your life that your deserve.
Working with Dr. Turndorf
I also run a private practice that offers private counseling to individuals and couples. If you feel you need to explore yourself or your relationships further, you can work with me in person or via phone or Skype. Please click here to set up an appointment via email or click here to set up appointment via phone or Skype.
I look forward to working with you.
-- Dr. Jamie Turndorf
TESTIMONIALS FROM THOSE WHO HAVE WORKED PRIVATELY WITH DR. TURNDORF
My wife and I were fighting all the time, and I was sure our marriage was over. Dr. Turndorf helped me understand how my words and actions were hurting my wife and actually triggering the Old Scars from her first family. Then, Dr. Turndorf showed me what to say and do differently in order to help my wife heal these Old Scars. For the first time in our 25-year marriage, my wife actually feels like I’m on her side. And the fighting has magically stopped. We are eternally grateful to Dr. Turndorf for saving our marriage. Dr. Michael D.
I came to Dr. Turndorf after having attempted suicide. I was so depressed because I couldn’t seem to stop choosing partners who cheat on me. Dr. Turndorf helped me to uncover and heal the cause of this pattern. I met a wonderful man, married him, and we have lived, quite literally, happily ever after. Thank you Dr. Turndorf for saving my life! Dawn W.
My wife and I lived a sexless marriage for nearly 25 years! There was so much hurt and anger on both our parts. Dr. Turndorf patiently uncovered the real cause of the problem and resolved it. Who could have ever imagined that my wife and I could feel like newlyweds again in our 50s! In truth, our love is stronger now than ever. Thank you, Dr. Turndorf! Keith B.
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"Dr. Turndorf's eternal love story powerfully proves that our loved ones in spirit are waiting for us to reconnect with them! Read this amazing book and discover her new dialoguing technique, which enables you to reconnect and turn grief into peace and joy."
-- Mira Kelley,
Bestselling author of Beyond Past Lives
“I found the book very helpful in guiding people to learn how to tune into spirit messages, and particularly liked Dr. Turndorf's guidance through meditations. In Parts two and three, Dr. Turndorf covered so many of the ways that spirits convey messages and this book will be a great help for people trying to get in touch with their loved ones.
Part 1 was her story of losing the love of her life. Reading about the pain and agony she experienced and SO MANY people experience will be healing to know that others experience the same emotions after the passing of a loved one. I think the first part could be a book on it's own merit because it is so beneficial to people dealing with the same intensity of grief.
As a scientist myself, I was glad to read that she didn't focus on a religion. As a medium, I have come to know that "god" not of a religion, but is the consciousness of all living things. Like Dr. Turndorf I've learned that all people are equal and all creatures part of all existence (and with "souls.").
I particularly enjoyed reading how she used her talent/mediumship to help people overcome their grief. Readers will get a lot out of this book and know that their loved ones are always connected.”
-- Rob Gutro,
Author, Medium, Scientist
“I could not put this book down!!! It is so gripping from the first few words, and beautifully written. Dr. Turndorf’s courageous story of her reunion with her beloved husband after his death and the heartfelt stories of others serve to validate what many may have privately experienced but discounted as just a by-product of grief and loss and not really “REAL.” The book’s simple and powerful techniques provide essential tools for connecting to loved ones in spirit and will allow scientists to amass new data from lay people, other than mediums. Your book will make a profound contribution to the now significant scientific data already collected in laboratories around the world studying survival of individual consciousness after death, while adding richly to our own sense of love and peace. Thank you for the Gift!”
-- Linda G. Russek, Ph.D,
Former Co-Founder and Co-Director of the Human Energy Systems Laboratory, U of Arizona, Co-author of The Living Energy Universe
“This is the most beautiful true love story that I have ever read. The depth of the author's love for her husband and her terrible grief at his death, and then her triumph as she learned to continue her relationship with him even after his death are all palpable. I lived it with her, and her story has stayed in my mind. For me, though, the reason to read this book is the author's wisdom in teaching her readers how to heal rifts across the death boundary.
As one who has done extensive afterlife research, I can attest to the importance of post-death healing of relationships to both our dead loved ones and ourselves! Yet few people know how essential this healing is, and fewer still know how to begin it. As a prominent relationship counselor, Dr. Turndorf tackles this essential area, and she does it well. Hers is a wonderful book.”
-- Roberta Grimes,
author of The Fun of Dying: Find Out What Really Happens Next and The Fun of Staying in Touch
"Exceptionally well written from beginning to end, Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased is as informed and informative as it is inspired and inspiring. Especially recommended to the attention of anyone who is suffering from the loss of a loved one."
Midwest Book Review
“Love Never Dies is an astonishing and refreshing story of survival of consciousness. She clearly shows the many ways spirit can communicate through us and with animals and even objects. I could hardly put the book down, and I have read many of these types of books. This is a great read for those who have lost a loved one and are looking for answers to the ways spirit makes contact with us, and also how we can contact spirit to make peace. I highly recommend this book.”
-- Dave Campbell,
Certified Windbridge Research Medium (WCRM)
“When I held this 248 page spiritual giant in my hands, even before I started turning the pages I knew I had found a special guide that would help me through one of the hardest journeys I have taken. To love so deeply and completely and then to have the person removed from my physical life is hard enough, but then to find a way to stay connected with them is even more frustrating.
So it was totally Heaven sent when I was asked to review this gentle messenger that helped me to stay connected, to recognize the connection and to even validate the connection.
I also loved the way the author shared on such a deep and personal level it helped me to not feel alone and gave me courage to bypass my mind. I would recommend this sweet giant to anyone who feels the loss of a loved one. Thanks so much Jamie for the awesome blueprint. “
-- Riki Frahmann,
Chief Reviewer for the ezine Mystic Living Today
"As a colleague of both Jamie and Jean, I have been blessed with firsthand witness to their devotion and mutual love, in life and now through death. In her eloquently written new book, Dr. Turndorf has made their everlasting love accessible to all. Just as the uniqueness of their emotional connection radiated to me, it will radiate to you, the reader, in this groundbreaking work that will guide you to reestablish your relationships with loved ones in spirit... and even make peace, if needed."
-- Dr. Robert S. Pepper,
author Emotional Incest in Group Psychotherapy
"In her book, Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased, Turndorf teaches a method for dialoguing with the departed which holds tremendous healing potential for everyone who has lost a loved one. Turndorf is passionate in her certainty that we can actually communicate with those we’ve lost. Since reading Love Never Dies (which describes the dialogue process in great detail) I’ve used Turndorf’s technique and it has opened life-changing doors for me. It’s a powerful process, and I encourage everyone who feels ready to try it."
-- Ken Page,
L.C.S.W. from "A Life-Changing Exercise for Anyone Who Has Lost a Loved One" published in Psychology Today
"I just finished reading Dr. Turndorf's most recent book, LOVE NEVER DIES, and I highly recommend it for everyone who wants to connect with a loved one who has passed on to the Spirit Realm. This book tells the heartfelt story of the author’s tragic loss of her husband and his subsequent messages to her from beyond the veil, and it outlines the steps we should take to communicate with the spirits of the people we loved on Earth."
-- Garnet Schulhauser,
author of Dancing on a Stamp and Dancing Forever with Spirit
"This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships."
-- Dr. John Mack,
Pulitzer Prize winning author and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
“This book provides a down-to-earth, easy to apply, proven method for creating relationship harmony. This book should be mandatory reading for every couple that wants to head-off or resolve the inevitable relationship conflicts and build lasting love. Buy this book and put it to use!”
-- John Bradshaw,
Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Homecoming
"Dr. Turndorf is an amazing individual who has wonderful advice to offer men and women of all ages and in all types of relationships. Ignore her counsel at your peril!"
-- Bill Hammond III,
Winner of the Best Historical Fiction Award, 2012
"You are awesome Dr. Jamie. You really are. The best part about you is the way you translate complex psychological stuff into easy to understand and actionable insights."
-- Kajay Williams,
Producer Relationship Advice Cafe
"Let me tell you why you're extremely important now. I really believe your message is there. You're spot on. More and more people should be taking advantage of what you're offering."
-- Michael Dresser,
Syndicated Radio Host
"Good stuff. Great insight. I love your approach. Who doesn't need more healing. I love your idea of using your partner as a healing agent. That's such a great way to see your partner. You give great labels and patterns to look for. I love your method. You make it sound so easy. You have a great website with lots of great information and resources. These are the tools we all need."
-- Dr. Matt Townsend,
Host, The Matt Townsend Show