Dear Doctor Love,

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. We love each other very much but he moved in about a month ago and now he's moving out because we fight too much. I have got to admit I have yelled at him for previous things like taking the dishes out picking up after himself and showing me more attention and passion. He said to me on Monday he's moving out and this week is when I have my apprenticeship to go to all week, but before he said he was moving out on Saturday he said he was thinking about moving out and I said not to talk about it until after my week because this is the week my parents are proud of me and so am I.

I come home from work on Monday and find he's telling me he's moving out to save our relationship but he dragged it on for 3 days. I was crying 3 nights straight until now he stayed at his mum's last night and said he wants to come back and today he says he's going to say there. I want him to come back and live with me because now we are falling apart. He picked me up today from work and we never spoke in the car. I told him it's hard for me to handle 2 jobs and school and work our relationship out and I said it would be better if he moves back in to work on it because every night I'm with him and every morning but he doesn't understand. He got very upset when I said I didn't want to be with him anymore. He cried so I'm not to sure what to do. My parents say he's just confused and say it would be better to get rid of him. But  I love him so much. What do I do?






I hear that your poor heart is broken. I also hear that you love this man and don't want to lose him. I have a suggestion that I believe will save the relationship. Before I give you the suggestion, I want to explain why I think you both derailed in the first place.

You said in your letter that you yelled at him for his various inattentions. The problem is, when you yell at someone, he becomes angry with you. The angry feeling causes him to want to do less and less for you. This in turn leads you to yell at him more and more.  This is how you both fell into a vicious cycle.

To turn this rupture around, you need to take responsibility for pushing him away by yellingRaising one's voice during a conflict is a dysfunctional way of behaving. No matter how angry you are, it's vital to learn to control your impulses and never deliver raw rage to another person. When...(Click for full definition.) at him. Tell him that you are going to stop yelling at him and that you are going to learn to communicate your needs constructively. My book, Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First): A Step-by Step Guide for Resolving Relationship Conflict will show you how to do just this.

He is resisting moving back in because he doesn't want to be reamed out by you. If he feels that you are willing to own your part of the problem, he will feel more willing to reconnect to you.

Please let me know how you make out.

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"Love Never Dies is guaranteed to give immense hope to those grieving the perceived loss of a loved one. Dr. Jamie Turndorf, together with her husband, Jean, now in spirit, provide stunning evidence of the continuity of love and life, along with the tools to help anyone connect with those in the unseen world."

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-- Fr. Richard Rohr,
Founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC), and bestselling author of Falling Upward

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Part 1 was her story of losing the love of her life. Reading about the pain and agony she experienced and SO MANY people experience will be healing to know that others experience the same emotions after the passing of a loved one. I think the first part could be a book on it's own merit because it is so beneficial to people dealing with the same intensity of grief.

As a scientist myself, I was glad to read that she didn't focus on a religion. As a medium, I have come to know that "god" not of a religion, but is the consciousness of all living things. Like Dr. Turndorf I've learned that all people are equal and all creatures part of all existence (and with "souls.").

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Author, Medium, Scientist

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Former Co-Founder and Co-Director of the Human Energy Systems Laboratory, U of Arizona, Co-author of The Living Energy Universe

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author of The Fun of Dying: Find Out What Really Happens Next and The Fun of Staying in Touch

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“Midwest Book Review”

“Love Never Dies is an astonishing and refreshing story of survival of consciousness. She clearly shows the many ways spirit can communicate through us and with animals and even objects. I could hardly put the book down, and I have read many of these types of books. This is a great read for those who have lost a loved one and are looking for answers to the ways spirit makes contact with us, and also how we can contact spirit to make peace. I highly recommend this book.”

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Certified Windbridge Research Medium (WCRM)

“When I held this 248 page spiritual giant in my hands, even before I started turning the pages I knew I had found a special guide that would help me through one of the hardest journeys I have taken. To love so deeply and completely and then to have the person removed from my physical life is hard enough, but then to find a way to stay connected with them is even more frustrating. So it was totally Heaven sent when I was asked to review this gentle messenger that helped me to stay connected, to recognize the connection and to even validate the connection. I also loved the way the author shared on such a deep and personal level it helped me to not feel alone and gave me courage to bypass my mind. I would recommend this sweet giant to anyone who feels the loss of a loved one. Thanks so much Jamie for the awesome blueprint. “

-- Riki Frahmann,
Chief Reviewer for the ezine Mystic Living Today

"As a colleague of both Jamie and Jean, I have been blessed with firsthand witness to their devotion and mutual love, in life and now through death. In her eloquently written new book, Dr. Turndorf has made their everlasting love accessible to all. Just as the uniqueness of their emotional connection radiated to me, it will radiate to you, the reader, in this groundbreaking work that will guide you to reestablish your relationships with loved ones in spirit... and even make peace, if needed."

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author Emotional Incest in Group Psychotherapy

"In her book, Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased, Turndorf teaches a method for dialoguing with the departed which holds tremendous healing potential for everyone who has lost a loved one. Turndorf is passionate in her certainty that we can actually communicate with those we’ve lost. Since reading Love Never Dies (which describes the dialogue process in great detail) I’ve used Turndorf’s technique and it has opened life-changing doors for me. It’s a powerful process, and I encourage everyone who feels ready to try it."

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L.C.S.W. from "A Life-Changing Exercise for Anyone Who Has Lost a Loved One" published in Psychology Today

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author of Dancing on a Stamp and Dancing Forever with Spirit

"If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage, Dr. Turndorf’s conflict resolution program is for you."

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Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

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Pulitzer Prize winning author and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School

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-- Dr. Matt Townsend,
Host, The Matt Townsend Show