- Dr. Love in the Media
Afraid He Will Cheat
January 15, 2002 Ask Dr. Love Advice Column
I have had a very LOW sex drive and not real open to New things. This led to my husband cheating, now all is good. My sex drive has become MUCH BETTER.
I guess age helped (29) now I want to tell him all the things i think about but that doesn't mean I would actully do them. HE WOULD. I'm afraid he will cheat again if I don't tell or push me into things I'm not ready for in action. HELP
You are in a bad situation. Your husband is blackmailing and strong arming you: either you tell him your fantasies or he'll cheat; and if you tell him, then you are afraid that he will force you to perform sexual acts that you don't feel comfortable performing.
You need to put the issue on the table. Tell him how you feel and see if he is willing to modify how he relates to you. As it stands now you are feeling frightened by a big bully. If he doesn't understand where you are coming from, then see a couples therapist together.
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